Axiom 6 of Choice Theory states: “We are all driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun.”

All of our behaviour – yes, all of it – is an attempt to meet our basic human needs. Whether we’re acting responsibly or not, wisely or impulsively, effectively or ineffectively, we’re always trying to satisfy what Dr William Glasser described as our genetic instructions: to satisfy our needs.

Here’s the thing: No one else can meet your needs for you.
That job belongs to you, and only you. Of course, we can create an environment that supports others in meeting their own needs, but we can’t do it for them. Each of us is responsible for our own choices and actions.

Dr Glasser defined responsible behaviour as behaviour that meets our needs while not interfering with the ability of others to meet theirs. When we meet our needs by harming, coercing, or manipulating others, that’s irresponsible.

When working with adolescents, I don’t ask, “Was that responsible?” It’s not a question that resonates with them. Instead, I ask: “Are you meeting your needs ‘up and clean’ (in a way that you can be proud of) or ‘down and dirty’?” Because all our behaviour is purposeful, the question is, how are you trying to meet your needs?

Survival: The Biological Need

Every living organism has a fundamental need to survive – to stay alive as an individual and a species. For humans, this means more than just existing; it means taking care of our health, nutrition, sleep, safety, shelter and reproduction. Yet, how often do we ignore these needs? We sacrifice sleep, skip meals, neglect exercise, and push ourselves until we’re unwell. In our fast-paced lives, survival isn’t always respected the way it should be.

The Psychological Needs

As a human species, we also have four psychological needs.

We have a need to belong. When we are in situations where we do not feel accepted or included, we feel uncomfortable. This is the emotional and physiological response that tells us that we have to behave differently to satisfy this need. Choice Theory informs us that we can change things. No matter the situation, we can still control our own behaviour. If circumstances are challenging, we can still act in a caring, connected manner so that we can meet our needs from within. We need not be the victim of anybody else’s behaviour. This is where true personal power begins

The need for power has many faces: accomplishment, recognition, personal competency, achievement, and importance. It’s a need that we can meet in many ways. However, it’s how we meet the need that can make all the difference:

• Power with: Collaborating and lifting others up
• Power to: Empowering others while achieving our own goals
• Power within: Building self-confidence and emotional resilience

These forms of power can bring a sense of accomplishment and emotional balance within ourselves, even in difficult situations.

But power over—where we try to control or dominate others—creates resistance. It backfires. Trying to meet our need for power by squashing someone else’s freedom never truly works. The cliché that people who attempt to satisfy their need in this way are power-hungry is so true. It’s an empty victory.

Freedom: The Power to Choose

The need for freedom isn’t just about ignoring rules or doing whatever we want. It’s about freedom from coercion and freedom to behave in a way that supports our autonomy – being able to think, choose, and behave willingly in accordance with our own values and beliefs. Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, said it beautifully: “Everything can be taken from a person except the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”

In classrooms, there is no mystery why learning difficulties and disruptive behaviours occur together. Students sometimes act out not because they’re ‘bad’ but because they want freedom from feeling incapable or ashamed. It seems to them that they would rather be seen as bad than dumb. Disrupting the lesson becomes their way out—a misguided attempt to regain control.

Fun: The Reward for Learning

Dr Glasser believed that fun and learning go hand in hand to satisfy the same need. He thought that “Fun is the genetic reward for learning,” and also remarked,
“The day we stop playing is the day we stop learning.”

When classrooms feel joyless or rigid, learning suffers. Risk-taking, mistakes, laughter, and curiosity should all be part of the process. Fun isn’t a distraction—it’s a necessity.

This goes beyond schools. In families, workplaces, and friendships, when the fun disappears, relationships suffer. But when joyfulness is present, connection thrives, and fun and learning occur.

When we behave in need-satisfying ways, we have a sense of satisfaction and well-being. Understanding and embracing Choice Theory gives us the personal freedom to achieve this. We are the authors of our own happiness.

Dr William Glasser, Choice Theory:    Harper Collins 1998

Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning:   Beacon Press 1959

Judy Hatswell completed her Basic Intensive Training with Dr Glasser in Los Angeles in 1982.  Judy began using Reality Therapy in 1979.  She became Senior Faculty in 1997.   Judy Hatswell is the Director of Judy Hatswell and Associates. 

Judy Hatswell and Rob Stones